Tired, Tested, and Tense: Helping Kids Through Term 4
- Prue Longstaff, Counsellor
- Sep 1
- 6 min read
If you’re a parent, you probably don’t need me to tell you that Term 4 can feel like a marathon with no finish line. By this time of year, kids are tired, emotions are running high, and families are juggling an endless list of school events. For secondary students, exams and revision dominate the calendar. For primary-aged children, there are assessments, reports, concerts, sports finals, and transition programs. Add in the everyday family juggle and it’s no wonder many households feel stretched thin.
At Better You HQ Counselling, we hear the same message from parents every year: “My child is just exhausted, cranky, and not themselves.” The truth is, this isn’t a reflection of poor parenting — it’s the natural result of kids being pushed to their limits after three busy terms of learning.
The good news? There are practical things you can do to make Term 4 feel less like survival and more like a manageable, even meaningful, end to the year. Keep reading and download your term 4 survival printout below.
Why Term 4 Feels So Tough
When you understand why Term 4 hits so hard, it’s easier to support your child with empathy rather than frustration. Here are 4 big reasons kids (and parents) find this term a challenge:
Cognitive fatigue:
Over the course of nine months, children’s brains have been engaged in a myriad of complex tasks and activities that require significant cognitive effort. From mastering new concepts in mathematics and science to developing language skills and social interactions, their minds are constantly at work. This prolonged period of mental exertion can lead to a natural decline in key cognitive functions such as concentration, memory, and motivation. As the school year progresses, children often find it increasingly challenging to maintain their focus during lessons, retain information for tests, and feel enthusiastic about their learning. The cumulative effect of daily academic demands, combined with extracurricular activities and social obligations, contributes to a state of cognitive overload. This phenomenon is not merely a sign of laziness or lack of interest; rather, it is a reflection of the brain's need for rest and recovery.
Emotional regulation:
Fatigue significantly impacts a child's ability to manage and express their emotions effectively. When children are tired, their capacity to cope with stressors diminishes, making it increasingly challenging to handle even minor issues.
This exhaustion can lead to heightened emotional responses, where small problems, such as a disagreement with a sibling or a minor disappointment, can trigger overwhelming reactions and big meltdowns.
In these moments, the child may exhibit behaviours such as yelling, crying, or throwing objects, which can be distressing not only for them but also for those around them. Alternatively, some children may respond to fatigue by shutting down altogether, withdrawing from interactions, and becoming unresponsive.
This shutdown can manifest as a lack of communication, decreased engagement in activities they usually enjoy, or a general sense of apathy. The interplay between fatigue and emotional regulation is crucial, as it highlights the importance of ensuring that children receive adequate rest and support to navigate their feelings in a healthy manner.
Exam and testing stress:
Performance pressure ramps up, especially in secondary school, where the stakes begin to feel significantly higher for students. The transition from primary education to secondary school often brings about a more rigorous academic environment, where assessments become more frequent and demanding.
Students find themselves not only grappling with a heavier workload but also facing the anxiety of standardised tests, homework, and exams that can heavily influence their grades and future educational opportunities. This heightened level of scrutiny can lead to an overwhelming sense of stress and anxiety, making it difficult for many students to focus on their studies and perform to the best of their abilities. Even younger kids, who may be in primary school, can feel the weight of being “measured”.
Schools are increasingly adopting testing measures at earlier ages, which can lead to anxiety even among the youngest learners. The pressure to excel in these assessments can overshadow the joy of learning, as children become aware of the expectations placed upon them by parents, teachers, and even themselves. This phenomenon can create a cycle of stress that not only impacts academic performance but can also affect a child's emotional wellbeing and self-esteem.
Social overload:
Concerts, parties, and sports wrap-ups are undoubtedly thrilling events that bring together friends, families, and communities to celebrate and enjoy shared interests. The atmosphere is often electric, filled with music, laughter, and the excitement of cheering crowds. However, these events can also be quite overwhelming, particularly for children who may already be feeling fatigued from a long day of activities or school.
The sensory overload from loud music, bright lights, and large crowds can be challenging for young ones to navigate. Additionally, the late hours often associated with these gatherings can lead to crankiness and meltdowns, as tired children struggle to cope with the demands of staying engaged and alert. Parents and caregivers must balance the fun and excitement of these occasions with the need to ensure their children are comfortable and not overstimulated.
In my work supporting children and families in schools, I’ve seen time and again how Term 4 leaves many households running on empty.
It’s not just the children — parents are stretched thin too, which makes patience and perspective even harder to hold onto. That’s where strategies and support make all the difference.
How Parents Can Support Kids
Here are some tried-and-tested strategies we share with families at Better You HQ Counselling to help Term 4 feel less overwhelming:
1. Normalise the Struggle
Let your child know it’s completely normal to feel more tired or stressed at this time of year. Kids need to hear that they’re not failing; they’re human.
2. Balance Rest with Responsibility
Encourage downtime alongside study and activities. A 20-minute break to play outside, ride a bike, or simply chill out often leads to better focus than pushing through tiredness.
3. Stick to Routines
Even when life gets busy, keep the basics predictable — meals, bedtimes, and screen-free wind-downs. Routines act like anchors when everything else feels chaotic.
4. Teach Calm-Down Skills
Show kids how to reset their bodies and minds:
Take three deep breaths (“smell the flowers, blow out the candles”).
Try the 5-senses game to ground themselves.
Do a movement break — star jumps, stretching, or dancing it out.
At Better You HQ Counselling, we often teach these techniques in sessions so children build a toolkit they can use anytime.
5. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
When kids feel pressure to “perform,” they can quickly spiral into anxiety. Praise persistence, bravery, and progress, not just marks or grades. This builds resilience and confidence.
6. Make Time for Connection
Ten minutes of undivided attention each day goes a long way. Whether it’s kicking a ball together, chatting before bed, or cooking dinner side by side, this connection helps children feel supported and grounded.
A Tool Just for Parents
Because I know how overwhelming Term 4 can be, I’ve put together a free Term 4 Survival Toolkit for Parents. It’s a simple printable you can pop on the fridge, with:
Quick stress relief strategies kids can use in the moment.
Daily parent reminders to help you support emotional wellbeing.
A weekly planner that balances study, rest, and play.
Click to download:
Final Thoughts
Term 4 is busy and stressful — there’s no denying it. But with the right strategies, and a focus on balance and connection, your family can get through this season without burning out. More importantly, you’ll be teaching your child valuable skills for managing stress, coping with pressure, and building resilience that lasts far beyond the school year.
At Better You HQ Counselling, we specialise in supporting children and families through the ups and downs of school life. If you’d like extra guidance, practical strategies, or simply a safe place for your child to process their stress and emotions, we’re here to help.
📞 Contact us today to learn more — we’re here to help you thrive.
About Prue and Better You HQ Therapy and Counselling Clinic
Prue is an ACA registered and qualified child and family counsellor with a passion for helping children, parents and adults navigate emotional challenges. As the founder of Better You HQ Therapy and Counselling Clinic, she specialises in supporting neurodivergent children, anxiety, emotional regulation, and social-emotional development. With experience in education and a deep understanding of childhood mental health, Prue offers evidence-based, compassionate support to families.
Better You HQ provides in-person counselling in Mansfield, Victoria, and online services Australia-wide, including assessments, emotion coaching, and parent support. Prue believes that emotional skills can be taught and that every child deserves a roadmap to thrive.
